


give me your hand (save me)

by clawsnbeak



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Adam Parrish Has No Chill, Adam Parrish Loves Ronan Lynch, F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, First Kiss, Fluff, Genderswap, Happy Ending, Ronan Lynch Loves Adam Parrish, Ronan Lynch is Bad at Feelings, Tags to be added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-20
Updated: 2019-09-01
Packaged: 2020-09-19 11:03:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20330080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clawsnbeak/pseuds/clawsnbeak
Summary: Adeline Parrish didn't think about her appearance often. That is until more and more people start to hit on her, ask her out, giving her more attention than she has ever received. Add Rowan Lynch as her fake girlfriend into the mix and maybe Adeline has to think about more than just her appearance.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is basically a 5+1 fic, meaning there is a chapter for every time someone hit on her and Rowan jumped in +the one time where she didn't have to.

Adeline Parrish never perceived herself as pretty. Short dirty blonde hair that just reached her shoulders, unevenly cut with blunt scissors in the crappy light of her tiny bathroom, dull blue eyes, ringed with dark circles that always made her look older than she was, thin lips that always seemed to be pulled down. She had freckles littering her face, her body, every inch of her covered with them which revealed more about her than she wanted people to know. The scars running up and down her body were thankfully hidden by the cheap clothes she never really liked but wore for the necessity of them.

Her appearance wasn’t something she thought about often, there were more important things to fill her mind with, university applications, how to make it until her next salary, finding Glendower and saving Gansey from her impending doom. 

She became more aware of her appearance, though, with the recent events she couldn’t stop thinking about. She didn’t know what it was that suddenly made her seem attractive enough to other people that they asked her out. Sure, she had gotten some attention from people before, but now they came in rapid speed, asking her for her number, on a date, flirting with her until it made her uncomfortable. Perhaps it was Cabeswater. Something had changed when she sacrificed herself, a feeling she couldn’t quite shake but didn’t particularly dislike either. She didn’t know what it was, she just saw the same old her every time she looked in the mirror. People looked differently at her, though, but the possibility of them looking at her and not noticing the dust of the poor outskirts of Henrietta that had settled on her skin like a flashing sign hadn’t even crossed her mind. She couldn’t afford to think like that, until she could.

The first attempt someone made at asking her on a date had been a week ago. Adeline had been grocery shopping with Rowan who had invited herself along, which Adeline hadn’t minded. Sure, Rowan still made her feel awkward and uncomfortable sometimes, stumbling through every conversation that now grew into more of a practised ease the longer she got to know the complexities that Rowan was made of. However, rather than making her want to pull away from her and the things she felt when Rowan brushed her hand accidentally or smiled at her with a seemingly less sharp pull to her lips, Adeline only wanted to get closer. Being one of the only people Rowan tolerated felt less like a poorly executed joke and more like a thrilling adventure Adeline had waited for her entire life.

Rowan was in search of snacks, most likely filling the cart to the brim on top of the actually necessary items Adeline knew Rowan would insist on paying for. They did this dance often, in grocery stores, at Nino’s, the movies that one time. Rowan would pull out her wallet, inconspicuously enough that Adeline mind not notice but she always did and she always stopped her. Yet, Rowan always tried again the next time.

She hadn’t even noticed the boy next to her until he tapped her on the shoulder. Ever polite Adeline Parrish had turned to him with a little smile she reserved for every stranger she encountered.

“I am Aaron and you are very pretty,” the boy said, trying too hard to sound seductive. Adeline reeled back in surprise but quickly schooled her features back into a more neutral expression, one she had practiced in the mirror many times and now came to her more naturally than anything else.

The boy was not ugly and maybe, if her mind hadn’t already been occupied with someone else, she would have laughed kindly, maybe even agreed to go on a date with him, which he was clearly after when he asked for her number.

Her chest tightened uncomfortably. She didn’t want to be impolite and brush him off with the aloofness she felt, but she also didn’t want to succumb to her need to please everybody and agree to go out with the wrong person.

Relief flooded her body when Rowan came into line of sight, her arms full of colourful packets Adeline quickly recognised as candy. She felt something fond curling in her stomach, but she knew her face must have revealed something because Rowan’s eyebrows pulled down into a frown and picked up speed just a little bit. She came to a standing next to her, closer than she usually stood.

“Aaron,” Adeline said, her voice laced with fake-cheerfulness. She quickly took Rowan’s hand and squeezed it in a silent  _ please go along with this _ . “Meet my girlfriend, Rowan.”

Rowan’s head snapped sideways looking at her with disbelief in her eyes. She quickly recovered, though there was still something unreadable in her gaze. Her arm slowly moved to wrap around her waist, pulling her closer until she was flush against her. Adeline could focus on nothing but the warmth of Rowan’s skin radiating through their clothes, her strong muscles holding her like Adeline had dreamt about more often than she would like to admit.

There was a threatening pull in one of Rowan’s eyebrows alone and Aaron backed off immediately, hands stretched in front of him in a “please, don’t bite my head off” kind of way. Adeline smiled apologetically at him and sighed in relief, sagging more against Rowan’s body while she still had the chance. Adeline felt daring in doing so.

Rowan released her immediately and spun to face her. Rowan’s face was hard and steely, her arms now crossed over each other. Despite the wall that was building around her, Rowan’s eyes were almost vulnerable, studying Adeline as if she could find the answers she needed by merely looking at her.

“I don’t lie.”

Guilt hit Adeline with inhuman speed. She inwardly cursed herself for forcing Rowan to play along, for putting her on the spot with no way out. She couldn’t stand people deciding for her and now she had done it herself. With Rowan no less.

With the way Rowan looked at her sometimes, she thought she might have a chance with her someday. Though, Adeline wasn’t sure enough to voice her crush out loud, to tell Rowan that she had been on her mind for weeks now, to finally confess to the biggest secret she had to bear to date.

And now, when they paid for the groceries without Rowan putting up a fight for once and walked to Rowan’s shiny BMW, Adeline knew she really fucked up.

  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> didn't post for a long time because writer's block had me down so i struggled a lot with this chapter but i hope this is still somewhat okay

The second incident happened only a few days after the grocery store one. Adeline had just managed to make up with Rowan, which, in their unusual friendship, meant they forgot about fighting after two days of not speaking to each other. They had gone weeks without speaking before, back when they were forced to deal with each other because of Gansey, back when Adeline almost found peace in the silence but now Adeline felt an aching emptiness when Rowan wasn’t there to tell her stupid jokes or to tease her in a way that was more affectionate than mocking. 

Adeline didn’t like fighting with Rowan as much as she used to. 

At the beginning of their friendship, when all she felt for Rowan was tolerance, it would give her a thrill to work Rowan up, to get a reaction out of her. Something was addicting about the danger of it, fighting with someone who could break her so easily. Gansey had warned her before, picking a fight with someone like Rowan only ended in tears and bloody knuckles, but Adeline was never one to follow advice from anyone. Rowan had never touched her, though, and deep down Adeline knew she wouldn’t. So she pushed until Rowan was slamming doors and throwing poetic insults around that came as easy as breathing.

Now the only thing she felt when she and Rowan had another fight, was hollow and longing. There was no pleasure behind provoking Rowan until degrading words fell from her lips. No pleasure behind the hurt in Rowan’s eyes she never managed to hide enough. Just empty nothingness, a black hole in her body that sucked in her entire being.

Until Rowan made a joke and Adeline laughed. Until Adeline just couldn’t refrain from telling Rowan about whatever it was that seemed necessary enough. Until Rowan showed up at St. Agnes, filling the hole she left behind by simply laying on the floor next to her mattress and clouding the empty space with her shitty music that brought comfort to them both. Until Adeline regained the part of her that Rowan had taken with her when she left.

They had put the fight in the past but Rowan still sat further away from her than she usually did in their booth at Nino’s. In the past weeks, she had gotten closer until their knees were pressed together, seemingly by accident yet never wavering, but now there was a cold space between them that Adeline was eager to fill. She couldn’t put herself to doing so though. Whether it was her insufferable pride or their still unsteady relationship she didn’t dare tread, she didn’t know. 

Gansey and Blue, and occasionally Noa, were glancing between them with knowing eyes. They didn’t like the fighting any more than she did. Gansey always tried to mend them like it was her job to do so and Blue stared at them disappointingly until Adeline felt like it was necessary to apologise to her too. Noa’s eyes were turned downed in sadness making Adeline feel more guilty than anything else.

Rowan wasn’t looking at her and Adeline was too stubborn to take the first step even though she knew she was the one in the wrong this time. She had gotten used to Rowan’s eyes on her, basked in the heat they brought with them. There was something powerful in being interesting enough for Rowan to pay attention to.

She fervently hoped Rowan would just look at her, give her something to hold on to in the rockiness that was their friendship at this moment. Her hopes were answered before long, though it was for the wrong reason. 

“Can I get your order?” 

Adeline turned to the sound of a new voice breaking through Gansey’s endless rant about a new fact she uncovered in her research that nobody was listening to anyway. The server was pretty with long brown hair and big doe eyes that lit up when she saw Adeline. She didn’t bother being subtle in checking her out, moving her eyes up and down her body slowly.

Rowan pretended she didn’t notice but Adeline knew better. She had gotten more in tune with Rowan’s emotions as they had gotten closer. She noticed the slight scowl pulling her lips down, the tensing of her hand lying on the table, clench in her jaw that showed off her displeasure like a flaring rod to everyone that watched close enough.

The waitress’ eyes snapped to Blue when she listed her order with the rise of an eyebrow, judgement radiating off of her. The waitress blushed but stared back daringly until it was time for Gansey to order.

“And what can I get you, beautiful?” she asked when it was Adeline’s turn. Adeline felt her face heat up and shakily repeated her order. The tension was palpable with four pairs of eyes on her, one appreciative, three analysing her every move.

“Good choice,” the waitress said, a smile Adeline could only categorise as flirtatious on her lips. “I’ll be back soon.” 

She winked at Adeline as she turned around but she was too baffled to react. She sat frozen, no word managing to come out of her mouth. Rowan mockingly repeated “good choice” under her breath, her eyes darting back to the waitress who was now helping other customers.

Adeline dared to glance sideways, taking in Rowan’s glare, her balled fists under the table that only she could see, the vein that was ready to pop in her neck. She was clearly ticked off by the waitress, though Adeline couldn’t deal with the implications of that. Not in the already uncomfortable situation she was in right now. Not with the unsteady foundation of their friendship that was threatening to break.

Gansey easily reduced the tension by listing as many facts about dead Welsh queens she had read in one of her new books as she could. Rowan’s shoulders eased back and Adeline let out a small sigh of relief. At least now she didn’t need to think about anything else. She could just focus on Gansey’s excitable voice, the almost sickening adoration in Blue’s eyes, the fading of Noa’s skin in the harsh fluorescent lights of the small diner.

That relief was cut short because the waitress was heading back to their table, tray in hand and determination in her eyes. 

Rowan shuffled closer to the middle of the booth and Adeline wasn’t moving out of sheer pride and spite. They were pressed up together, neither of them moving. Adeline could feel Rowan’s heat against her side, their bare arms touching each other lightly, neither pulling away. The waitress’ eyes squinted a little in annoyance but she put up a false smile when she got to their table.

She quickly put down the pizza’s, pausing at Adeline’s. The waitress bend down lower than was necessary, displaying an impressive amount of cleavage. Her smile turned almost predatory.

Adeline felt her heart race but not from desire. There was something about her eyes, a look she had seen often in men cat-calling her in the street. A certain push, an expectation Adeline didn’t want to fulfil. 

Her eyes darted away uncomfortably, weakly smiling when the waitress addressed her with a “for you, sweetheart” and a wink. Her stomach curled, her hands shaking as she tried to find a way out of this situation, away from someone who wanted more from her than she was willing to give.

Just as she felt sick enough to jump out of the booth and cool of outside, she felt an arm curl around her shoulders, pressing her tightly against the lean outline of Rowan’s body. There was something possessive in the way Rowan’s hand gripped her arm softly, something protective in the way she shielded Adeline’s body with hers.

Adeline felt the sort of instant relief she didn’t think she would find with anybody, much less Rowan Lynch. But her heart was beating rapidly for a different reason now and her stomach unfurled the tightness gone.

Adeline leaned into the heat and Rowan let her, not a sliver of space between them. If only she could have this, Rowan pressed against her side, the freedom in every touch she lends her.

The waitress’ face turned sour and she left quickly, the implications of Rowan nosing her hairline clear. Blue smirked at them with victory in her eyes, Gansey looked nothing short of confused and Noa didn’t seem surprised in the least, though the sadness lingered. 

Later, Adeline would have to explain everything to the others. Reassess what this meant for her, what it meant for Rowan. She would have to look inside and finally put words to the feelings she ignored for too long. But right now, she abolished it from her thoughts and focused on the laughter of her friends, the taste of greasy pizza and the warm press of Rowan against her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you can also find me on [tumblr](clawsnbeak.tumblr.com)

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on [tumblr](clawsnbeak.tumblr.com) too!


End file.
